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I like attention…. And I like expressing my femi

I like attention…. And I like expressing my femininity and sensuality to get it…. ⁣
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2 days ago was the first time I even admitted that to myself…⁣
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I mean as long as I can remember I wanted to be sexy… as a preteen trying to sneak wearing provocative clothes, wanting to get my belly button pierced, downloading 50 cent songs off LimeWire to dance around in my room to…⁣
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For 12+ I have done beauty pageants, modeling, hosting, promo modeling, been a bottle girl, the list goes on… ⁣
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And in a lot of these different ways I have expressed femininity and sensuality for a hobby or a job I am never fully confident or really go for it. ⁣
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Because I am just now realizing how much SHAME I have felt around fucking owning this desire to express myself like this and be seen for it. ⁣
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I think the shame comes from many different things. ⁣
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Part of it probably from being bullied at school like my whole youth… for things like wearing makeup from age 8, dressing in my own unique ways too stylish for my small town, or having peers make fun of my modeling or pageant photos. ⁣
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Another part of it growing up in a culture where true femininity is nearly nonexistent and seen as weak. And where a woman’s sensuality is so repressed where the standard feels likes if a woman expressed her sensuality and anyway she’s slut-shamed, and probably not intelligent or hardworking. ⁣
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These things didn’t stop me from doing all the things but they did influence the way I showed up.⁣
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The Tantra retreat I just came back from and this past photoshoot really opened my eyes to this conclusion. I can’t believe it’s taken all these years to unravel these deep beliefs I have carried with me to all of these shows, shoots, and events over the last 12 years.

A little last-minute decision but today I am going

Remember not to get so caught up in “doing the w

Remember not to get so caught up in “doing the work” that you forget what it is all for: to create a more expansive capacity to experience joy, pleasure, and play. ⁣
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If we obsess over getting it right, living the perfect, most “spiritual” life and reaching the finish line in our healing journey we may forget what it’s all for: to experience a deeper capacity for JOY and PLAY and LOVE. This life is fleeting, and there’s no finish line when it comes to learning, healing and growing. Be gentle on yourself, let yourself play, and remember that “the work” isn’t meant to be all consuming. It is a pathway to a more liberated existence.⁣
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📷: @agusphotodify
📿: @inara.elements

This week is my one-year anniversary of living in

This week is my one-year anniversary of living in Canggu. ⁣
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I arrived in Bali in November 2019 and Canggu was my first stop. ⁣
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At this time I had just finished hiking 500miles on the Camino Santiago and was planning to go teach yoga again in Sri Lanka for another season but I felt this pull to move to Bali instead. ⁣
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My first glimpse of Canggu had me so fucking 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.⁣
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Everyone here looks like a model and has a beautiful body. Not to mention they probably have an online business and some ultra unique cool factor. 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥. ⁣
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I just showed up rough AF from 40 days on a trail and was clueless on how I was going to make the digital nomad life happen.⁣
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I was determined to figure it out….. BUT I was going to do it in Ubud (a different area of Bali) . lol because I fragile, on a tight budget, and needed some time to nest before I felt confident enough to be a part of the Canggu community. ⁣
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The first 6 months I moved here were quite tough. I didn’t have any friends or an income… and for the first couple of months, I didn’t really have any clarity on the direction for life. ⁣
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But I cocooned for those 6 months. It was a heavier time in my life but I stayed disciplined with my self-work and alll the digital marketing course I took until I figured it out. ⁣
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And when I was in a better place… I was ready to bust out of that cocoon. So I finally moved to Canggu….. and I bloomed. 🌸🤸🏼‍♀️⚡️

Wise Words All Creatives Should Hear: 👇🏼⁣

Wise Words All Creatives Should Hear: 👇🏼⁣
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1. Please don’t let someone's opinion of your work stop you from doing what you’re born to do. ⁣
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2. Even if no one sees your art or photos, don’t stop creating them. ⁣
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3. Your big ideas are worth pursuing. ⁣
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4. Do something you believe in. ⁣
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5. Take calculate risk.⁣
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6. The level up is about improving not impressing. The goal is growth. ⁣
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7. Embrace what makes you different. ⁣
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8. Compete with yourself. ⁣
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9. Stay humble. 🌈🌸🤸🏼‍♀️⁣
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Credit @wetheurban

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